The Belt : Get Spanked

The back of race t-shirt I got says: “The Belt : Get Spanked”.

This last week I’d been leisurely preparing for the The Belt 30K (18mile) Trail race I ran today. I ran a hard workout on Tuesday, another hard workout on Thursday, and 5 miles on the trail on Friday, I took off Saturday from running, but volunteered at packet pickup, and then I lugged big 2-gallon water bottles to some of the water stops inside the greenbelt. Great prep work!

This morning I got up at 4:45 and ate some food, took Karma out to do his thing, and drive over for the 6:30 rolling start. I took off around 6:32 and figured the earlier I get going, the less people I have to contend with passing, and the faster I get off the course that will just get hotter and hotter as the day goes on.

(For those of you who are somewhat familiar with the greenbelt, this will make some sense. For those who are not, just play along!) The start was at the bottom of the hill where Toys R Us is. We ran along the left side of Barton Creek. Within about 10 minutes we hit our first water crossing. It wasn’t a water crossing, as in crossing the river. It was a water crossing as in, more than waist deep 15 foot long hole in the trail that had flooded over from the creek water. It was mud colored and it was fun! 5 minutes later another waist deep mud-water pit to cross! I missed out on the Muddy Buddy race a few months ago, but I hear that there’s a fake mud pit at the finish so this was better. Real, cool water crossing!
Eventually we crossed over the creek to the right hand side. Just under waist deep. Some people were taking it easy crossing. I just powered through it, as did the convoy that was created from the rolling start traffic jam.

Fast forward: We ran up along the trail, and I kept thinking, this is too fast, and eventually decided to let Jim, Brad and some other guys run away from me. We were holding a 7:30 pace or so. Yeah, it wasn’t hilly, but I knew what was ahead. This is probably the best strategy of the day. I kind of figured I’d catch back up to my acquaintances from the Saturday morning long runs eventually. 18 miles is a long ways, and in my mind I had a 3-hour time goal, so 20 mins into it, you slow your ass down if you feel you’re going too fast!

Eventually we take a right and there it is. The hill of life. How fun! We get to climb the ufcking Hill of Life! I walked almost the entire thing. I think everyone, but the cyborgs that ran this thing under 2 hours and 40 mins walked up that hill. At the top, Aid Station number 1. Arrival time 35 minutes and I think around 4 miles traveled. I dumped my water bottle water on my head, and asked for a refill. I picked at the pretzels, an orange slice, and was on my way.

Fast forward: After a nice descent we reach the Dam crossing to cross the creek over to my backyard. I think: "I know these trails up here, so this will be fun to know where I am!" This would not be the case. 45 mins in, Dam crossing, and Gu #1.
We didn’t take cedar chop. We took a bitch of a dirt trail hill, a snaking steep as thing. I walked. Matter of fact, I walked every single big hill, so just know that. We eventually get on the cedar chop trail, and ran that to the big open space. But that wasn’t until we’d run a good 20 mins of other trails. From the big open space to the Panty loop entrance it’s about 2 mins, and as I lugged water to the water station, I am rejoiced to know that I can dump the water left in my bottle ON MY HEAD to cool off. Pantie Loop aid station reached, I take a seat remove the Dr. Scholls “You gellin’?” “Gellin’ like Magellan!” heel pads out of my shoes as they’ve moved around and are more of a hassle then help. I recommend to the aid station guys that “Take my word for it… It’s great to be gellin’, but when you’re in for 18 miles….ehhhh…not so much.” They chuckle, they hand me back my refilled water bottle. Take a couple m&ms and I’m off. Pantie loop. I know this loop well. I run it 5 – 6 times a month. I tell the little group I’m running with why it’s called Pantie. I don’t think they believed me, but when we reach the tree with the Panties and the jock strap, I confirm the “stupid statement” the undoubtedly thought I’d told them 10 mins earlier.

Health check: I’m tired. We’ve now run… 7 miles or so, and I’m feeling a bit tired… but come 1 hr 25 mins, I pop Gu #2. The guys I’m running with are the guys that took off fast earlier, and they realized they made a big mistake, so it’s nice to have company you know. Our strategy is relatively different though. We all run a leisurely but speed-up pace on the flats, speed up on the downs, but they slow run the up hills. I don’t. I’m happy to be 2nd to last and walk the hills. I tell the guy behind me to feel free to pass, but I’m walking the hills. All about heart rate for me. He does what I do. After all, the pace on the flats wasn’t anything crazy, so it’s easy to stick back onto the train after taking the hills easy. At this point I[m thinking, these guys are either much stronger than me, or there’s no way in hell they can keep it going.

Eventually we reach the end of Pantie and we hit up "middle Road" (Lulu, Jodie, you know this as Spider Jungle). We run spider jungle, and 2 guys drop off.

Fast Forward: Eventually we’re headed back towards the creek but take a hard right and then snake back towards the powerline aid station. We then run the Wiley and Lulu’s trail race course backwards. I know this will take 14 mins as this is my backyard. Hills, hills hills. I just want to be done by now, but we’re not even at mile 12.

I eventually take the lead and find that my pace is too strong for all others. I drop them and continue my run. I guess the hills did kill them. At this point, I’m walking every single up hill. I’m tired. I reach the Powerline Aid station at 2 hours and 9 mins, and honestly I just want to be done. Dee Oh Enne Eee. Done. But no… 6 more miles of fun! I take my shirt and cap off and hide them in the trees. (I’ll get those at some point this week)
I have 51 mins to run 6miles (a 10K) and finish under 3 hours. I quickly say Good-bye to that dream. But I’m ok with that. All I want to do is walk.

"How the hell am I going to run 6 more miles?" Is the question that repeats itself in my head over and over as I run down the entire powerline. God. That is the shittiest 0.75 miles in the history of running. Dead straight, rocky cobble stone like ground, and no shade. Sucked ass.

I want to walk more. I want to walk, but I decide that it’s not good to walk on the powerline because the people behind me will see me walking and that’s no good. Why am I thinking this? I have no clue, but I guess I’m still being competitive. Soon enough, competitive spirit will be all gone. Matter of fact, as soon as we take the right at the end of the powerline, I walk. Ahhh, feels so good, I’m walking for a 2 mins, I decide.

I know what I’m in for now. A run along the side of a ridge, over to the grotto, then the shark head rock, then over to rattlesnake, and at some point, I’m supposed to reach a water stop. I’m so friggin tired though. I really just want to be done.

I actually contemplated stopping entirely, and here is a selection of some of the plans that went through my head:
- Ok, I’ll just walk. 5 miles walking will take 1 hour. Everyone I know that passes me, I’ll just tell them I have cramps, or sprained my ankle.
- Ok, maybe I’ll just stop entirely.
- Ok, I’m not going to stop, but I am going to keep walking all the hills, and walk every 3 minutes for 20 seconds.
- Ok, screw the running for 3 minutes. Now I’m going to only run the downhills, and walk the flat and up hill sections. (Yep, I did that for a good 10-15 maybe 20 mins mins?!?!)
My favorite thought was clearly the best one:
- Ok, if I quit I’ll be mocked and called a quitter. But hopefully a rattlesnake will bite me! Then I’ll have a good excuse! I can use the string of my shorts as a tourniquet. I mean seriously, a rattlesnake bite can’t be that bad. How long will it take to get Starflight helicopter out here? I wont' die. Any rattlesnakes out here?

But no such luck, no rattlesnake. Kind of a bummer, really.

At this point, all this running has my hamstrings twitching. Dammit. This happened at the marathon too, and we all know what that lead to! Eventually I reach the last aid station. As is now customary, I dump the water on my head, and order a refill of water, mow down 2 peanut butter and jelly mini sammies, eat an orange and grab a hand full of pretzels.

3miles left. 2hours 40 mins into it. If I run a 20 min 5k, I’ll be in under 3 hours! Hahahahah!!! That was a funny thought!
At this point my calf is starting to cramp, and my hammies are not happy. I continued the walk run strategy as I clearly don’t care what my time is. I just want this day to be done.

Eventually we return back to the trail by the creek and face the two mud pool crossings. They felt so good!!! (funny story: one guy at the finish told me he got to the last mud pool, and just leaned down and raise his arm to where his entire body was under the mud water except his neck, head and Ipod arm! What a good idea! Truth be told I thought about doing that, but decided that risking more cramps by bending down was not prudent).
Last funny thing for me… I reached the Chain crossing, which is this rock ledge that is pretty narrow where there is a chain on the rock wall to help you not kill yourself. On the other side is a Sunday hikers couple with dog. They clearly got there first but I bark out:
“NO NO NO!!! Let me pass please. I’m in a race. The guys behind me want to kill me. Bad people want to kill me. Well, not really, but they trying to catch me.” The man doesn’t think it’s funny at all, but the lady didn’t mind and I saw a little smile shine through.

Limped to the finish, run walking, getting hammie twiches and calf cramps.
Final time: 3 hours 8 minutes something or other seconds.

It was hard. I had no earthly idea it would be that hard, and I can seriously compare the effort today to a marathon effort. Maybe not a full speed record attempt marathon, but it was tough as shit.

And now my legs are shot, and Lisa the masseuse extraordinaire is about to make some money on Monday or Tuesday.

I got ROYALLY spanked.

THE END.

(sorry it was so long.)