Letter to William Powers Jr., President of The University of Texas

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Letter to William Powers Jr., President of The University of Texas.

This salutation is brought to you by Hallmark.
Dear Mr Powers,
As a season ticket holder to the University of Texas football games, and Longhorn Foundation member, it makes me very sad to have to write this letter. My Sadness is brought to you by Lexapro, the depression medication. First of all, congratulations on your official appointment as President of the University. I just finished reading the State of the University Address you made at your installation ceremony. I want to wish you the very best of luck in your new role, and have the utmost confidence that you will continue to make us all proud. My vote of confidence is brought to you by the gubernatorial candidates running for office this fall.
The reason for my letter is to question what is happening to the University Football games. The new Scoreboard is a fantastic piece of technology. The first time I got to see it in action during the North Texas game, I was left speechless. It was incredible. My initial impression of the scoreboard is brought to you by Dockers. Make a good impression by wearing Dockers wrinkle free pants. However, since that game, I’m growing more and more tired of watching anything on it and on the new ticker tape scoreboards along the sidelines. My disappointment is brought to you by Dasani water. Refresh yourself with Dasani water on sale all game long for $3.

In reading an article in the Austin American Statesman I read that UT led the nation in revenue from football at 53 million or so. This observation of an article is brought to you by Wells Fargo bank, where all your millions will be safe. If we could bring in that much money without a state of the art scoreboard turned overkill billboard and advertising vehicle, why on earth do we need to turn the entire Football experience into an advertisement. This statement was brought to you by Taco Bell. I do not know of a single person that doesn’t agree that the amount of advertisement is an embarrassment to the University and what it stands for. This feeling is brought to you by Aleve.

I left the game at half time today, not because the game was a blowout, and I felt sorry for the Sam Houston State players; but because I was tired of seeing Instant replays being sponsored by someone. These last few lines were brought to you by Fuddruckers. If you want a good burger, Fuddruckers is the place. Everyone around me started laughing and talking out loud about every sponsor being thrown at us within a span of 5 minutes. We started taking friendly bets on who the next Instant Replay sponsor would be, who the next sponsor to be talked about on the loudspeakers would be, and who would be displayed on the sidelines next. The bets were brought to you by Texas Lottery. Your dreams can come true. In two weeks, during the Baylor game, I will bring a notepad and write down every advertisement I see, and send them to you if you’d like. My notepad will be brought by Office Depot. Better yet, for the next home game, make sure you can attend the entire game, and don’t walk off to talk to executives of Coca Cola, Taco Bell, Dasani, Wells Fargo, Sprint, GEICO, HEB, Rudy’s BBQ, and Scott & White Healthcare. All those sponsors were brought to you by UPS, because brown delivers on time. Instead, pay close attention to what’s going on, and then let us know if you think that the ‘sell-out’ taking place at Darrell K. Royal Texas Memorial stadium is what the University of Texas stands for. This request is brought to you by Scott & White.
We’re glad we have tickets to three of the remaining away games. Of course, we’re excited to go and support our team, but what we really can’t wait for, is being able to watch Texas Football the way it was supposed to be… and that’s free of advertisement overkill. This last paragraph was brought to you by Planters Peanuts.

Please do what’s right and bring back the Texas home games we were proud of. Don’t let our neighbors in College Station upstage us. Who knows, maybe it’ll help us move up to #2 in the Times of London rankings! This plea is brought to you by Purina.

Sincerely,
Mike
My name is not sponsored by anyone, because I’m not for sale...yet.