Recipe: Torturously Good Baked Pork Loin Burrito

1 – Alarm Clock
1 or 2 - Bowl of Cereal
1 – 10, 14, 16 Mile (or longer) Run Route.
1 – Sporting Event
1 – Set of running gear
2 – 20 Pound bags of ice
1 Bunch – Hearty or unhealthy food
2 to 4 – Water bottles
1 Bathtub
1 Pair – Favorite Sweat pants
1 - Old but trusted Sweatshirt
1 - Favorite Fleece Sweatshirt
1 - Magazine
1 – Large Fleece Blanket or Comforter
4 – Extra fluffy Pillows
1 - Pair – Warm House shoes
1 – Bakers dozen good stories.

Set alarm for 5 or 5:30am. Take dog out to pee. Put on Running gear, quickly followed by eating of the bowl of cereal. Be careful not to overdo it, as you may pay for a full stomach on the run. After any necessary nature break sessions for you and your dog, drive down to meet your running friends.
Run 10 miles over 1hour and 26 minutes making sure you use up most of the good stories for conversation during the run. Settle in quickly to a comfortable pace, and wait and see who will choose your pace too. This won’t be very enjoyable if you haven’t slept well, eaten well the day before, or decided to drink 6-8 beers, a stout Vodka Cranberry and half a bottle of wine the day before at, and after a college football game. For extra torture, be sure to stand up for 2 hours during the sporting
You can’t over bake the run, because you’ll know when you’re done as you’ll be back where you started and won’t feel the need to run any further. Stretch and do any foot stretches to limit long term injuries then head towards your home for the real torture session. Be sure to stop at the neighborhood convenience store, and buy one 40lb bag or 2, 20 lb bags of ice. (if your dog ran with you, grab him a beef jerky stick as a treat, because he’ll love you extra much if you do that)

Once home, prepare pork loin marinade by filling up bathtub with cold water. Right before getting in, dump the ice into the bathtub. Put on Old trusted sweatshirt, and get in the tub making sure your entire legs, and hip area are submerged under the freezing cold water. Certain body parts will object to this marinade, but will eventually adjust back to their normal non-state-of-shock- state. If the ice melts within 5 mins, next time, buy 60lbs, or use colder water to fill tub. Sit in bathtub, and read magazine for no less than 15 minutes, but no more than 20 minutes. Upon the 15 minute alarm, pull the plug on the cold water and turn on shower hot water. Take long, yummy, warm shower for a good 7-10 minutes. Make sure all body parts are warmed up to ensure tenderized meat is at it’s prime. Upon exit of warm shower and dry down, immediately put on warm sweatpants, warm long sleeved Fleece, and warm house shoes.

Cook up your preferred bunch of Hearty or Unhealthy food. In my case, a bowl of cinnamon cream of wheat, a bowl of Chile Lime Dried Garbanzo Beans, a Bowl of Mexican Japanese Peanuts, a Bowl of Cheetos, and a big bottle of cool red PowerAde.
Choose either a bed or a couch, and bring all foods to its side. Grab your comforter or Fleece blanket and wrap yourself in it tightly like a Burrito, ensuring the pillows are in the right spots.

Turn on TV, and enjoy a warm your well deserved post-torture Burrito session by napping for a minimum of an hour and a half to college football or other television show.