...I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Karma - and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!
I'm quite sarcastic, so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I had ended up in the hospital? I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
11 comments:
Maybe if the lady was a lesbian, she was hitting on you?
OMG... no you didn't!!!! That is brilliant Wiley. I take back when I said your stories sucked. But I dont take back the #1 dork part :)
How come funnay guys like you are never in line with me at Walmart?
No fair.
It's because of stuff like this happening that I have been trying to invent a tiny, non-intrusive video camera that goes with us everywhere, recording everything - think about it... think about it... awesome, huh!?
you are such a nut, mike. wish i'd been there to hear this one!
I have to come clean. This was a joke I got by email, and I just posted it on my blog for fun.
I loved the story.
Didn't mean to make you all think I was this clever, but I do intend on using it if I ever get the chance to.
Even if this story isn't yours...you are still very clever, Mike! :-)
You know what we call people that steal stories and try to pass them off as their own? POSERS :)
No worries, you can buy me a drink later and I will apologize for that comment.
Lame. I take back any nice thing I have ever said to you. You can also buy me a beer tonight and I might consider still being your friend.
I call bogus. You would never feed Karma crap like Purina. That is animal abuse.
oh...just saw your comment bout the joke. See...i know you too well.
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